


Sacrifice

by mickey2k14



Category: Kingsman (Movies) RPF
Genre: Eggsy loves animals, Gen, Lowkey daddy issues, Mention of abuse, POV Eggsy Unwin, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-29 02:43:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickey2k14/pseuds/mickey2k14
Summary: No one quite understands how much Eggsy has sacrificed.





	Sacrifice

The thing is, Eggsy is a lot smarter than people gave him credit for.

 

Maybe he'll sometimes play the role of the unemployed London chav but that isn't who he really is. It's a persona, carefully crafted to ensure he can survive Dean and his stupid goons as much as possible, and it's one Eggsy wears well. He's had to sacrifice a few things to maintain it like his gymnastics, because Dean won't have no poofter for a stepson, and Eggsy absolutely hates that he has to but it's worth it if it means he can be there for his mum and Daisy. It's why he leaves the marines, too, because he can't protect them when he's far away and because his mum keeps seeing his father in him when he wears the uniform.

 

She cries when he tells her he dropped out. He knows she's relieved that he's safe at home, no longer cannon fodder in someone else's war, even as she's ashamed that it means he's back under Dean's thumb. He never gives her a chance to feel guilty about it, though, because it's his decision and he'll bear it on his shoulders.

 

Eggsy spends a few days at home, playing with Daisy and basking under his mum's attention, and it's wonderful to have that. And then Dean comes back, sneering about Eggsy leaving the marines and being a failure, and Eggsy fucking hates the man for intruding. He hadn't exactly forgotten how awful he was but the time away with the marines had tempered the memories.

 

In the here and now, he knows he'll go crazy if he has to stay under Dean's roof all the time so he goes out looking for a job. He hands out his CV, checked by his mum and his friends, and he waits for replies that don't come. And, well, living in London ain't cheap and he needs a way to provide for himself, beyond his mum's occasional tenner and his friends buying him drinks so he takes a few jobs on the side. It's not legal, no, but he doesn't have much of a choice.

 

He never has.

 

So he robs a few places, steals a couple of cars and deals some drugs. It gets him a rap sheet but none of Dean's respect because Eggsy will apparently never be good enough for this man, no matter what he does. It's not that Eggsy wants anything from Dean but he'd thought for a fleeting second that joining Dean's world might be enough to get something other than abuse. It isn't. He shouldn't care, God knows Dean has never given him a reason to, but there's a part of Eggsy that despairs because Dean's the closest thing to a father he has.

 

It's fucked up.

 

Eggsy hates that he even values Dean's opinion. So he might deliberately antagonise him, taking the punches meant for his mum or for Daisy, and it hurts but nowhere near as much as it would hurt them. It helps him, too, reminding him that Dean ain't no father. He's a monster.

 

And then Dean threatens to kill him with a meat cleaver and Eggsy wants to break down all over again.

 

But then there's Harry, who's handsome and competent and sees 'potential' in him, and he stops and thinks _oh_. Because Harry doesn't think any less of him for doing gymnastics or watching _My Fair Lady_ and he believes in him enough to pick him as his candidate. People don't believe in Eggsy, generally, and he doesn't know how to tell him what it means to him.

 

He settles for nodding his head up. "Alright, guv."

 

And Harry, all smart suits and polished shoes and a proper gentleman, smiles at him like the sun.

 

Eggsy so desperately wants to give him a reason to look that way again.

 

He works hard in training because of that, even when the other candidates call him a pleb and tell him he doesn't belong there, because Harry's belief is all he needs. A couple of jumped up posh twats aren't going to scare him anyway, not when he's lived with Dean and his cruelty for years. No, they're just kids in comparison and Eggsy can handle them with laughable ease.

 

Then a girl dies and Harry's in a coma, and things stop being so funny.

 

He thinks things will get better when Harry wakes up because, well, it's Harry. Life, however, has never been kind to Eggsy and all he can think about when he sees Harry die is the disappointment and anger he'd left him with. Because Eggsy cared too much about a stupid pug to seize the opportunities offered to him.

 

"No," Eggsy says, holding JB close to him, "you're not a stupid pug."

 

Because, no matter how hard he pretends to be someone else, he's always going to be soft at heart. He couldn't run over the fox and he couldn't shoot the pug, either.

 

He has to do something, though. He can't let Harry's death be something meaningless and that's how he gets roped into a ridiculous plan with just Merlin and Roxy by his side. Funnily enough, he couldn't imagine anyone better to save the world with. 

 

It's sheer luck that his him winning against Gazelle. Once the deed is done, he's exhausted and he wants nothing more than to curl up in a ball and mourn the loss of the one man who'd seen potential in a broken little thing. He can't, though, because Eggsy's playing a role even here and he has to see Princess Tilde and follow up on a saucy little comment.

 

But Tilde herself is a revelation.

 

Because she knows what it means to play a role, even amongst her advisors and friends. She understands what Eggsy's sacrificed and, if Eggsy leaves that bunker with slightly red eyes instead of a confident swagger, no one has to know.


End file.
